Kevin and Alicia in Korea

Well, after a snowy moving day (ugh... maybe Seoul didn't get the memo, but March means NO more snow!), Mark and I are moved out of Guro and into Birth Father's apartment. So that means I have time to post about Kevin and Alicia's trip to Korea.

I'm so glad that they decided to make the trek over here... I wasn't sure if they would be able to make it, when Kevin surprised us with news that he had booked tickets in December. I was very excited to say the least.

Anyway, Kevin and Lysh spent a total of 8 days in Korea and we really jammed a lot into those short days. Here's a rundown of some of the highlights.

As with all our visitors, we took them to Noryanjin Fish Market for some crab legs, shrimp, and scallops.

SangKwun came with us that night and he and Kevin hit it off like they were old friends. Here I am with my two brothers. :)

Kevin was in heaven with the seafood, but when we got this tray of sashimi, he wasn't so impressed.

We convinced him that this was his opportunity to try it, so he took a bite and his face says it all.

Ah well... besides the sashimi and the kimchi, he seemed to like almost everything else he tried. I was actually very impressed with how open he and Lysh were in trying and experiencing everything. Their positive attitudes made them very fun visitors to show this country to!

After Noryanjin, we went to a noraebang (private karaoke room). There was lots of singing, dancing, and tambourine playing.

The weather cooperated a few of the days (unfortunately, there were some rainy days). On one of the days, we took them to Gyeongbokgung Palace. Here are some of my favorite shots of them there.

Kevin looks a little nervous by this guard, don't you think?

And here they are passing through the pathway of eternal youth. It says if you pass under this, you will never grow old! Here's hoping...

Another touristy thing we did was climb to the top of Namsan (Seoul) Tower. It's on the top of the mountain and there are stairs leading to the top. It took us about 30 minutes to conquer it!

The climb was well-worth it because we got views of Seoul like this....

Birth Father also took us to a Traditional Korean Folk Village in Suwon. It was about an hour drive outside of Seoul, but very neat to visit. Just seeing the ancient history of this country is fascinating. There are carvings and statues like this throughout.

And everyone in the village is dressed in traditional garb and performing tasks that the people of the time might have been working on. Here's a shot of an older man tending to a garden.

We even caught a performance... there was some major coordination to keep the tassels spinning while dancing and jumping the entire time!

There were also displays of ancient Korean jails and punishments. Let me tell you, if I lived back then, I would never, ever, break a single rule! Not surprisingly, Kevin and Mark managed to land in jail...

Then Mark found himself in ancient Korean handcuffs. Yeah -- they had their heads wedged into a plank so they couldn't run off.

And then Mark decided to try out some of the ancient torture on Kevin.

Luckily, he stopped short of the leg screws. This was one of the worst things I've ever seen -- they would twist the leg of the criminal until they would confess their crimes.

Birth Father also convinced Kevin and Lysh to try on some traditional Korean clothing (hanboks) for a photo op. I think they look pretty authentic!

Afterwards, Birth Father took us to a traditional tofu restaurant with tons of vegetable sides.

There were many other things we did and saw during their visit, but we also went to Busan -- Kevin's hometown. It's such a cool city, right on the beach. The first night we were there, there was a big bonfire on the beach.

We also visited the Busan Aquarium. It was really cool to see all the sea life up close.

Also, since we were SO close to the ocean, we had to visit the Busan fish market. This market backed right up to the ocean. Can't get much fresher than that!

We treated ourselves to a lobster lunch there. Here's the big guy right out of the aquarium.

And here is is bright red and cooked. YUM!

The most important part of the trip to Busan (and in general) was probably visiting the Sung Ae Won Orphanage with Kevin. This was where he spent the first 5 years of his life.

Here he is in front!

And here he is playing with the kids. I think he and Lysh found one or two that they wanted to adopt right then and there! I know the feeling...

All in all, it was a great visit. Kevin and Lysh really seemed to enjoy seeing the country Kevin was born in, and I think this'll be the first of many visits in the future for them!

LOVE!

I haven't mentioned this on my blog yet, but my brother, Kevin, and his wife, Alicia, are visiting us in Korea right now. It's been so great, and we're having a blast. I plan to do another post with pictures of things we've done, places we've gone, and food we've eaten. Stay tuned.

Anyway, the point of this post is that today we visited Sung Ae Won Orphanage in Busan, where Kevin spent the first 5 years of his life. We visited the orphanage before and I blogged about it here. Once again, it was an amazing experience for me. I'm not going to go into too many details of this visit because I feel that it's Kevin's story to tell if he chooses.

Anyway, while we were chatting with the orphanage worker, Chris, and the Chairman of the Board, we noticed a poem on the table. It's so touching and resonates with me, especially in light of my recent reunion with my birth mother and my mom's support through all of it. Love it!!! Hope you enjoy it too.

Legacy of an Adopted Child

- author unknown -

Once there were two women

who never knew each other

One you do not remember

The other you call mother.

Two different lives shaped to make yours one

One became your guiding star

The other became your sun.

The first gave you life

And the second taught you to live in it

The first gave you a need for love

And the second was there to give it.

One gave you a nationality

The other gave you a name.

One gave you the seed of talent

The other gave you an aim.

One gave you emotions

The other calmed your fears

One saw your first sweet smile

The other dried your tears.

One gave you up -- it was all that she could do,

The other prayed for a child,

And God led her straight to you.

And now you ask me through your tears,

The age old questions through the years:

Heredity or Environment - which are you the product of?

Neither my darling - neither

Just two different kinds of love.

Sung Ae Won Orphanage

K: I've been thinking about this post for awhile now. I was never exactly sure what to say -- how much to share, is this too heavy a subject, if it would get too sappy etc. But, this blog has shown a lot of wonderful, beautiful, and amazing things about Korea and not very much of the ugly. This blog post will talk one of the sadder issues in Korea.

When my parents were visiting Korea and we took a trip to Busan, one of the primary reasons for visiting was to see the orphanage my brother, Kevin, spent the first 5 years of his life. It's called Sung Ae Won Orphanage.

I think I could've easily also titled this post, "The Day My Life Changed."

When I got to Korea, I kept hearing stories about adoptees who were angry with the system and who feel that Korean orphans should not be sent to foreign countries. While I, personally, can't relate to the anger they feel, I can understand the feeling of never really belonging to Korea. Sometimes it really sucks to see an entire country of people who look like me, but who I'll never truly understand because I left my true "Korean-ness" behind when I boarded a plane for America at the age of 2.

I've always toyed with the idea of wanting to build my future family through adoption, since I have received so much from my adoptive parents. But before visiting the orphanage, I was questioning this. However, after visiting this orphanage, I'm positive that adoption will be in Mark's and my future. I'll explain why later...

Anyway, back to the orphanage visit. We pulled up to the orphanage and, besides a paint job, it looked almost exactly the same as a picture my mom received a few years after Kevin was adopted. We were happy to see that the orphanage was in good condition.

Here's a shot of the bathroom/kitchen area.

When we walked through the door, we were greeted by a woman named Chris who spoke perfect English. She was able to find some of Kevin's paperwork and answer some of my parents' questions. They even received a new picture of Kevin that they had never seen before!

One thing that caught my eye was this bulletin board. Yes, those are all the children that currently live at the orphanage. There are 76 of them. But looking at their pictures didn't do them justice.

We waited around until they woke up from their naps. Look at all these tiny shoes!

These were the youngest kids. They are all 6 months or slightly older. Chris told us that when an abandoned baby is found, they keep him or her for 6 months in a temporary home in case the birth parents change their minds. Only after those 6 months is the child put in the orphanage for adoption.

We couldn't really play with them since they were under the weather.

Next, we went to the room with the babies who were about a year old. There were easily 12-15 of them in one tiny room with one nurse.

When we walked in, they immediately ran over to us and held their arms up to be held. When we picked them up, they got huge smiles on their faces, grabbed us tight around the neck, and didn't want to be put down. They seemed starved for attention and love, which was heartbreaking.

When it came time to leave the room, it was awful. They began crying and screaming hysterically. We had only spent 15-20 minutes holding them and playing with them, but it was like the world was ending to them when we left.

Last, we spent some time with the oldest children. They were between 5 and 7.

This little girl is the oldest girl in the orphanage. She is 7 years old. Before long, she will be transferred to another home. She was obsessed with SangKwun's camera. When we looked at her pictures later, we were surprised to see that they were quite good!

This little cutie jumped into Mark's arms and took it upon herself to try to teach him some Korean. :)

One of the little boys ran right up to my Dad and threw his arms in the air to be held. It was pretty cute.

You may be wondering why all these children are in the orphanages in the first place. I know I was. Korea isn't the impoverished country it was back in the 80s when I was adopted. I read an article in the New York Times earlier this month about the cultural issue of unwed mothers. You can read it here: Group Resists Korean Stigma for Unwed Mothers. I really recommend reading this, it's truly shocking. Some of these statistics are just plain horrible.

Chris told us that Sung Ae Won no longer does international adoptions. The Korean government is concerned about their reputation around the world, so they've greatly limited the number of children they can send abroad. Unfortunately, even though adoption is free (and there's even a monthly stipend) for Korean citizens who adopt, there are Korean cultural issues with adoption. Chris said that if a couple is unable to conceive, they will usually wait 15 years or so before they even consider adoption. So usually the adoptive parents are much older. And Korean culture is all about the family bloodline, so there's a good chance that the adopted child's grandparents, uncles, and aunts will not recognize that child as a member of the family. In Sung Ae Won, only 5 children... that's 5 children out of about 76 children.... were adopted last year. The odds are not good for these kids to join a forever family.

Seeing, holding, and hugging these children has convinced me that these kids need a parent's love more than the ability to speak Korean fluently, or to celebrate Cheusok, or to eat kimchi. (Though, these are all things we plan to make an integral part of our children's lives no matter what, whether they're adopted or not.)

As I looked into their eyes, I could've been looking into Kevin's eyes, or even my own eyes in the mirror. Their story is my story. I was one of those kids in the orphanage -- wanting an Omma (mom) and an Appa (dad). I was just lucky enough to be "picked." Someday I want to "pick" a child or two and give them the unconditional love they deserve. And I'm fortunate enough to have a husband who feels the same way. :)